Funny Crank Call Comebacks

Crank calls are commonplace among bored teenagers and young adults. Some older calls are beginning to make a comeback. With all these clever little tricks on unsuspecting people, a smart aleck attitude can curb the calls for good. The plus is that you can have a little fun with it too. Below are my top three favorite crank call comebacks to turn the tables on little tricksters.

1. Caller: Yes ma'am is your refrigerator running?

You: Why yes it is. Its training for the NYC marathon would you like to make a donation?

2. Caller: Do you have Prince Albert in a Can?

You: Nope, he's tied to a chair. I'm using the art of ancient Chinese water torture to get his spy secrets.

3. Caller: Did you steal my goat?

You: (place hand lightly over receiver just enough where the caller can still hear you) Britney, clean the altar and dispose of the evidence! Their onto us!

Now we can't do a smart aleck comeback without taking a look at telemarketers as well. You know, those annoying people that magically always know when your sitting down to supper and then all call you at once. You answer the phone with spaghetti hanging out of your mouth, highly aggravated and ready to scream. Oh yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Next time these sales people disrupt your mealtime, use the suggestions below to get them off the phone quick and help bump up your place on their do-not-call list.

1. Caller: Yes sir, I would like to extend a telephone only offer to you today. For only $49.95 we are offering you a full year of the magazine of your choice. That's over 50% off the cover price. We would also like to send you free gift for placing your order via credit card with us today.

You: That sounds wonderful! Sign me up! But first, do you accept food stamps?

2. Caller: Hello, may I please speak with the lady of the house?

You: She's in the shower. Her pimp says if shes late one more time something bad will happen. Want me to give him a message? She's not allowed to take phone calls.

3. Caller: Hello, I'm with XYZ company and we are offering a one time only discount on the portrait package of your choice.

You: Oh, that sounds wonderful (begin having a conversation with yourself. Make sure to yell and ask plenty of questions for which you will also answer)

Next time someone calls that you don't want to bother with, try using one of the above tips or get creative. A smart aleck mind is a terrible waste if you don't use it often.